Leaving Things Behind
&nb= sp; I’ve left many things behind in my life. I left high school behind without looking back; they were years that defined me, and yet did not hold power over me. I left a relationship with a girl I loved dearly, deciding not to propose to her, even with the ring in my hand. I left the workplace I = knew for years in Georgetown at the corner drugstore for a corporate position wi= th the chance to prove my worth and move up.&= nbsp; And finally I left that location for an IT position in the main offi= ce, after just over two years – saying goodbye to the loving and loyal te= am that I worked with, the family and friends that lived in the area, and New England, the only part of the country I had ever really known.
&nb= sp; Now, after a combined total of somewhere over 4 years, I am leaving that corpora= te job – from Byfield where I started on the= floor at $11.50/hour, to Lake Mary, Florida in my first IT position, finally to Orlando as a developer, programmer, and project manager. I had decided to leave because of = the bad decisions made by the company, of the lack of loyalty and community the= re, and the many roadblocks and hurdles the company set up for its’ own employees. Not to mention the= fact that Orlando is lacking in some specific areas of culture – areas that Charlotte, where my girlfriend had been living, excelled in.
&nb= sp; It was a very difficult decision. Even with the many offers of more money, I was still not anxious to leave the friends I had developed, the software and systems that I had mastered, and = the way of doing things that felt comfortable and normal. It took about 6 months of offers f= rom recruiters, consulting firms, and private companies, before I finally found= one that hit on all cylinders – great pay, right location, good opportuni= ty, down-to-earth management. Even then, every part of the proce= ss was bittersweet – discussing it with my boss, accepting the new offer, gi= ving my notice, and slowly spreading the news and preparing to sever ties with co-workers and clients.
&nb= sp; I gave three weeks’ notice to my manager, to allow him time to allocate= my existing development workload, and hopefully develop a plan for a replaceme= nt, knowledge transfer, and all the HR and administrative work that needed to be done. The pain started to cre= ep in, as peers of 4+ years began to express their congratulations and sincere well wishes.
&nb= sp; Then, my boss gave his notice.
&nb= sp; This put me in a difficult position; he had been a peer most of my time in IT, a= nd when I left I assumed I could leave everything in his hands. However, he had been entertaining = offers and was now leaving the company two= days after me. I was bothered by t= his, just because it disrupted my vision of how things should be. So to anyone that asked, I said, “Since the person that does all his work is leaving, he figures it’s time for him to head out too.”
&nb= sp; I had my obligatory exit interview with HR, which was at times an opportunity= for the HR rep to try to get dirt on how everyone is feeling, but mostly a hurr= ied affair that had her checking her watch.&nb= sp; Somehow, I don’t think my recommendations on keeping retention higher in the future will make it up the chain.
&nb= sp; Next were the final pranks on co-workers – the changing of photographs in cubes and on desks, the changing of nameplates and computer settings, and finally the revelation that I had been dating a co-worker for a year, right under everyone’s nose. I loved that no one knew it – we kept it so quiet, and were so mature a= nd respectful, that it never became an office topic or rumor or anything beyon= d a wild possibility. When I brou= ght in several framed portraits of our many vacations, trips, and escapades togeth= er, every co-worker’s jaw dropped.
&nb= sp; Then came the last tennis game, the last dinner with = my closest friends, and today, my last day.&n= bsp; I spent most of it tying up loose ends, and getting some final bugs worked out of the code for an upcoming software release. I answered the final goodbye email= s, went to the good-bye lunch at Tony Roma’s, and tried to shake everyone’s hand and thank everyone that I could. Then, it was time to go. I asked my co-worker Steve if he w= as ready to give me a ride to the airport, and he was. So I left my work laptop on my des= k with all my company merchandise, and walked out of my aisle.
&nb= sp; As I turned the corner, the team in the next row saw me, and they all stood up. Oh no, I thought. Not a scene. I can’t handle a scene.<= span style=3D'mso-spacerun:yes'> And just like that, they began to clap. Fir= st just the 4 or 5 closest to me, then everyone in that row. Heads poked up from the Project Management row, the Application team – everyone showed their faces, a= nd began to applaud. It was amazing. = Overpowering. At first I thought it was just a s= illy goodbye prank – I tended to clap for people when they came into a mee= ting or appeared in my aisle, half to welcome them, half to goof around – = but as I looked at their faces, I could tell it was genuine. After four years, they appreciated= the work I had done – the heart and soul I had given – the late nig= hts and long design sessions, the time I took to actually study the system, find its flaws, and make new programs work around them – everything I did = to make people happier and the workplace better…
&nb= sp; That moment was one of the most amazing moments of my life.
&nb= sp; I turned red enough to match my own shirt, first in embarrassment, but soon I= was overcome by the sheer emotional weight that was hitting me. I lowered my eyes, and couldn̵= 7;t look at anyone. I said goodby= e to anyone that was within a few feet, and tried my best to hurry down the rest= of the hallway to the door. A fe= w more friends stopped me, said goodbye, patted me on t= he back. I had to get outside be= fore the tears started falling. Fi= nally, I was out in the parking lot, heading to my car to grab my luggage for the trip. Tears freely fell down = my cheeks. I couldn’t beli= eve I was leaving all this behind – all this time and effort, all those ama= zing people, all those experiences. I was so terribly sad, yet so elated at thei= r outpouring of love and support, and so torn about how to feel – I just exploded.
&nb= sp; Steve picked me up and drove me to the airport.&= nbsp; All the while I was struggling to hold a conversation without bursti= ng full out into tears again. I = felt like something inside me had exploded outward, and I was left weak and powe= rless. All those smiling faces nodding and looking my way one last time…god, I had no idea that workplace life c= ould make such an impact, have such an effect on me or anyone else. My mother has worked the same job = for nearly 30 years now, and I had always thought that was something sad; but w= hen you really give your all and try your hardest, regardless of the money or benefits or all that greedy minded crap – it is beautiful. The work we do and the lives we to= uch can be so, god-damned beautiful.
&nb= sp; Thank you to everyone I have worked with for the past four years. It was like a lifetime, and it was= one I wish I could live over and over again.&nbs= p; I will miss you all dearly.