Haikus about Dogs.

you bark and bark more;
when i look out the window
you bark at nothing.

what is it about
any crinkling package...
you think you've earned treats?

how long have we walked?
you're clearly in no hurry
to take your big shit.

if you must insist
on humping my furniture
I will murder you.

Something in the air
That smells like rancid feces?
Oh, it is the dogs.

So embarassing
when you drag me all around
just to get nowhere.

When you lick her face
she says 'thank you,' not knowing
the vomit you ate.

Why do you bark so?
It is just me, coming home.
When will you turds learn?

You try to pull me,
But you weight just twenty pounds.
I could throw you far.

Why eat the cat poo?
Surely your food tastes better.
Stupid animal.

I'm trying to eat.
Your breath is loud and smells gross.
Please close your damned mouth.

It is 3am.
No need to patrol the house.
I could use some sleep.

You are not involved.
This is between me and her.
Please let me have sex.

You've shat on the rug.
Congratulations, asshole.
You make my life hell.