So yesterday, we go to CostCo and get a 3-piece sectional - two huge couch pieces and an Ottoman. I have to two two trips with a UHaul van to get both pieces, and the same CostCo guy is outside in a raincoat to help me. We load it all in, and at the end of my second trip I hand him a $5 as a tip.

"Wish I could," he said. "We're not allowed to take tips. Too bad, I'd make a decent amount!"

So I thanked him profusely, and voiced my hopes that he is compensated fairly. I pocket the $5.

Then we drive about 400 feet to Chili's. There is some weird drug deal going on in the parking lot, a few homies in vehicles together, so i drive my big UHaul van between them all. Most of them drive off, and one - in a big, dumb, low-rider truck - starts to go, then backs up and comes within a few inches of hitting me before I beep my horn twice.

Anyway, I park under a nice, bright light and head into Chili's. Ony my way in, a blue car pulls up next to me, and the older black man inside says 'Excuse me, Sir?"

I lean in, thinking he's asking for directions or something.

"Can you spare a few dollars? I need gas for my car, I'm outta gas...I'm a good Christian...I'm a Christian."

Now, I'm rich as ****. I could give this guy a few hundred and not notice. I just bought a $900 sectional on a whim fer chrissake. But I would so, so much rather give money to the guy working, than this guy just pulling up and asking for money. ESPECIALLY since he's voiced that he's a 'good Christian'.

One thing that always pissed me off about religious folks is that 'Christian' is somehow interchangeable with 'Saint' or 'decent' or 'Fucking A-plus guy'.

I'm a Christian. What the **** do I care, Charlie? You're a human being in need...why do we have to identify ourselves by our faith, in hope of receiving pity or good graces? Would some people actually say "No," only then realizing he's a Christian, and think, "Oh, in that case, **** yes. For a second I thought you might be a dirty Buddhist."

I dug out the $5 I had intended to dip the guy at Costco, and tossed it in his hand. "I'm a devout, Godless Athiest," I said, smiling. We're all really nice people. And I walked away.